Do Not Wish Me Happy Father’s Day
I remember a few weeks back, americans, celebrated all mothers on mother's day. I did like Hallmark wanted me to, got some cards, made some calls, and had a conversation with a female friend of mine. I stated to her, there would not be this type of response on father's day; there will be the inevitable debate. The debate there is, is where are the Biological Fathers? There are Uncles, and Cousins, Father Figures, Mothers who are like Fathers, and the occasional Boyfriend of Guyfriend who will take the kids—but the Biological Fathers are now relegated to being baby daddies.
I am an Uncle, and a damn great one. I am my Father's son; he was not a baby daddy, or my mother's boyfriend or a step-dad, my Father made me, and took care of our family every day of his life. Now I understand that this is the new millennium and the dynamic of families has changed tremendously, however, this is also the basis for the peril that the world is currently in—only a man can raise a man. I know that I will catch hell from some people for that phrase, but I feel that it holds true; boys are born male, and grow into adulthood, however, if there is not a consistent man in the house, then the boy will never mature into being a true man. What is a man, you ask? A man is a adult male who gets up in the morning, or at night, and works a job, gets paid legally, pays his bills, takes care of himself, respects his woman and their household (if involved in a relationship)—if you are not doing this then you are not a man. I do not care if you are a 3rd shift cook at Waffle House, if you are employed legally and contributing positively to the household, then you have reached manhood. If you are out in the streets selling dope, or prostituting women, then you have not reached adulthood, you have not put up your toys; unfortunately, you are still a boy.
This is one part of the debate, real men are pissed, and the best america can do, is muster up is a back-handed celebration called father's day. I was listening to the radio and they actually had the nerve to thank all the mothers on father's day—what an insult. Rarely were fathers' even mentioned on mother's day, why—I guess they are not in the household, but WIC is. Children are more than a paycheck and tax write-off, they are our offspring, future and continuation of a family line. Women are quick to blame a man for not taking care of a child, but it takes two to make a child, and there are other options that can be used if a person or persons are not ready and capable for caring for a child. I do not want to turn this into a battle of the sexes, because the system and state should get it's fair share of the blame for removing men from the family unit. However there are men who have had a bad relationship with the mother, but still a relationship with their child; there are men who are in court right now battling for custody; and there are of course men who are raising children on their own. This is why it is such a slap in the face, because for every woman who is a single mother, there are men out there who are in the same boat. Moreover, there are women out there have left the home and are not in their children's lives. Then we also have the disproportionate number of Black Men who are fathers and who are in jail—what of those fathers?
This is the misguided argument of a backward society at the dawn of a new millennium. Women being the head of the household, men, especially Black men, being relegated to the belly of the snake, children, so out of control we have police officers in school with metal detectors and teachers carrying guns to school and beating disrespectful children. Society must change it's ways, and it's more than just electing a so-called 1st Black president; it is up to each and every adult to raise the children. If you know of a parent who is still a child, and you are an adult, it is your responsibility to assist that child to become an adult to raise his or her own children. The system (courts, elected officials, probation officers, etc.) must begin to look at this dynamic critically and come up with some better solutions, than the ones that currently in place.
Please, do not wish me happy father's day, the only ones who get that honor live with me under one roof, united, as a family should be. And for the real men and real fathers, keep ya head up, you won't get the credit you deserve, but that's the payment of parenthood. And for the media outlets, change the way you honor fathers, because the way it's being done right now is not an honor or compliment, it's a slap in the face, for if that's all you can muster, then please, don't wish me a happy father's day.
I remember a few weeks back, americans, celebrated all mothers on mother's day. I did like Hallmark wanted me to, got some cards, made some calls, and had a conversation with a female friend of mine. I stated to her, there would not be this type of response on father's day; there will be the inevitable debate. The debate there is, is where are the Biological Fathers? There are Uncles, and Cousins, Father Figures, Mothers who are like Fathers, and the occasional Boyfriend of Guyfriend who will take the kids—but the Biological Fathers are now relegated to being baby daddies.
I am an Uncle, and a damn great one. I am my Father's son; he was not a baby daddy, or my mother's boyfriend or a step-dad, my Father made me, and took care of our family every day of his life. Now I understand that this is the new millennium and the dynamic of families has changed tremendously, however, this is also the basis for the peril that the world is currently in—only a man can raise a man. I know that I will catch hell from some people for that phrase, but I feel that it holds true; boys are born male, and grow into adulthood, however, if there is not a consistent man in the house, then the boy will never mature into being a true man. What is a man, you ask? A man is a adult male who gets up in the morning, or at night, and works a job, gets paid legally, pays his bills, takes care of himself, respects his woman and their household (if involved in a relationship)—if you are not doing this then you are not a man. I do not care if you are a 3rd shift cook at Waffle House, if you are employed legally and contributing positively to the household, then you have reached manhood. If you are out in the streets selling dope, or prostituting women, then you have not reached adulthood, you have not put up your toys; unfortunately, you are still a boy.
This is one part of the debate, real men are pissed, and the best america can do, is muster up is a back-handed celebration called father's day. I was listening to the radio and they actually had the nerve to thank all the mothers on father's day—what an insult. Rarely were fathers' even mentioned on mother's day, why—I guess they are not in the household, but WIC is. Children are more than a paycheck and tax write-off, they are our offspring, future and continuation of a family line. Women are quick to blame a man for not taking care of a child, but it takes two to make a child, and there are other options that can be used if a person or persons are not ready and capable for caring for a child. I do not want to turn this into a battle of the sexes, because the system and state should get it's fair share of the blame for removing men from the family unit. However there are men who have had a bad relationship with the mother, but still a relationship with their child; there are men who are in court right now battling for custody; and there are of course men who are raising children on their own. This is why it is such a slap in the face, because for every woman who is a single mother, there are men out there who are in the same boat. Moreover, there are women out there have left the home and are not in their children's lives. Then we also have the disproportionate number of Black Men who are fathers and who are in jail—what of those fathers?
This is the misguided argument of a backward society at the dawn of a new millennium. Women being the head of the household, men, especially Black men, being relegated to the belly of the snake, children, so out of control we have police officers in school with metal detectors and teachers carrying guns to school and beating disrespectful children. Society must change it's ways, and it's more than just electing a so-called 1st Black president; it is up to each and every adult to raise the children. If you know of a parent who is still a child, and you are an adult, it is your responsibility to assist that child to become an adult to raise his or her own children. The system (courts, elected officials, probation officers, etc.) must begin to look at this dynamic critically and come up with some better solutions, than the ones that currently in place.
Please, do not wish me happy father's day, the only ones who get that honor live with me under one roof, united, as a family should be. And for the real men and real fathers, keep ya head up, you won't get the credit you deserve, but that's the payment of parenthood. And for the media outlets, change the way you honor fathers, because the way it's being done right now is not an honor or compliment, it's a slap in the face, for if that's all you can muster, then please, don't wish me a happy father's day.
posted by 'Bras' Blog | 3:22 PM
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